Saturday, August 16

OLYMPICS FOR THE CRANKY


I'm actually not cranky about the Olympics, but I do have some curmudgeon-like observations about these, the games of the 29th Olympiad.

The woman announcing the diving events sounds JUST LIKE Nancy Grace. I expect any second for her to say, " That Dive was horrendous. They should be locked up forever and have the key thrown away."- because Nancy Grace is kind of hardcore.

• The shower shots during diving are kind of totally pervy. I know its not really a shower, but its got that American Apparel vibe and that vibe is pervy.

• Diving is fun to watch, but kind of a bullshit competition. Everybody claps the same way if the dive was good or bad..which someone has to tell me if it was good or bad.

• Synchronized anything is kind of bullshit.

• Let's put some kind of limit on high-fives and hugs. Not EVERY play (good or bad) needs an ass-slap. I'm looking right at you Volleyball. I watched one game where the players literally hugged after EVERY play. Isn't that tiring?

• Technology is cool, but it can make you look like an ass. There's a silly trend of sprinters wearing some arm sleeves to help with aerodynamics/muscle control. What it really helps with is being able to identify idiots. There's no way on earth these things help. None at all. in 2000 Cathy Freeman wore some kind of weird hooded green track suit. It looked stupid (you can see it on the opening highlights montage)

• Bela Karolyi is 100% awesome. I love him. If I paid him $100 do you think he's give me a bear-hug and words of encouragement. More Bela.

• Too many whistles in Water Polo. Too many. Also, the players should shoot more.

• The only thing i like about watching rowing is knowing i'm watching and not actually rowing. I think my heart would explode after the first 100 meters. Those guys are amazing.

• Bitching about the lip-synching little girl in the opening ceremonies is truly a mountain out of a molehill. Give it up. Its not a big deal. Its a show... a production.

• Bitching about 12-14 year old Chinese gymnasts is not silly. I'd say gymnastics are the shadiest Olympic event. It combines bad judging, child abuse and politics. It is amazing though.

• Michael Phelps is the greatest, but he is a Baltimore Ravens fan. Sadly, this automatically makes him an a-hole.

5 comments:

Eileen said...

I think I've said just about everything in your post to different people in the past week. There's too much hugging in volleyball for sure. I'm also becoming increasing skeptical of any "sport" that requires judging. Gymnastics and diving should be a head to head combat to the death. That would take the guesswork out of it.

Eileen said...

I think I've said almost everything in your post to someone over the past week. There's definitely way too much hugging in volleyball. Do all those people have low self esteem?

I'm also questioning the validity of any "sport" that requires judging. Diving and gymnastics should be all out fights to the death. Then you would have a winner for sure and those 12-year-old Chinese girls wouldn't stand a chance.

Dan said...

I agree with EVERYTHING! Especially the v-ball. WAY to much touching. Slap a five and move on... geesh!

I do love the Olympics though.

warnickart.com said...

i love the olympics and pretty much have watched every night. i kinda would like to see an event similar to the obstacle course on wipeout become an olympic event. how do you train for the big balls? you can't. you gonna get launched off and look stupid. its beautiful.

AE said...

I love Phelps' expression in this photo.