the blog to end all blogs

2009-05-22T20:45:00.001-07:00

2009-05-17T17:35:00.001-07:00

2009-05-17T14:34:00.000-07:00

2009-05-13T21:13:00.000-07:00

Sneaking

2009-05-13T20:26:00.000-07:00

2009-05-13T18:04:00.000-07:00

Phoenix

Updated For America

2009-04-29T11:04:00.000-07:00

2009-04-24T16:45:00.001-07:00

2009-04-02T20:14:00.001-07:00

2009-03-30T17:16:00.000-07:00

IMAGINE BEING HIS KIDS

2009-03-28T20:09:00.000-07:00

2009-03-25T16:04:00.000-07:00

2009-03-23T12:27:00.000-07:00

LAUNCH SCRUBBED

2009-03-11T21:50:00.000-07:00

Probably re-scheduled for Sunday.

2009-03-10T12:54:00.000-07:00

LAUNCHES: Wed. March 11 - 9:20 p.m./6:20 p.m.

2009-03-03T16:41:00.000-08:00

2009-02-13T06:24:00.000-08:00

for a contest on final girl

2009-02-11T15:58:00.000-08:00

WOULD YOU KNOW MY NAME?

2009-01-14T16:04:00.000-08:00

If I saw you in Heaven?

2009-01-05T10:09:00.001-08:00

PAINTER OF FIGHT

2008-12-25T21:21:00.000-08:00

This gent appears to be the Thomas Kinkade of war.
Can you imagine having one of these things? I know, awesome.
Examples
Official Site

SWEET JESUS!

2008-12-24T12:06:00.000-08:00

2008-12-15T12:28:00.000-08:00

MY PROBLEM WITH FROSTY

2008-12-12T20:25:00.001-08:00

My problem with Frosty The Snowman is it sucks.

BUSY AS HELL

2008-12-12T20:08:00.000-08:00

in fact, i just screwed myself by typing this. DAMN!
Expect big things in the new year from this blog, including:
• Ferret Porn
• Lifestyles of The Ordinary and Addicted To John Mayer
• Diplomatic Immunity: The Musical
• The Making of Diplomatic Immunity: The Musical
• Don't Look At Me Jerk- A Johnathan Holstrom Mystery
• Celebrity Co-Signers
• Charles Kuralt Drank My Blood-Twice
• Jonesin For Jazz (a weekly roundup of all the best in Jazz)
• I Got The Blues (a weekly roundup of all the best in Jazz-Fusion)
• 99.9999% of people who wear Polo branded gear have never seen a polo match. Something is kinda wrong with that
• "I Got No Heart-No Soul" brand greeting cards
• Celestial Seasonings Astronomy School
• Fuck Off! (and other ways to get attention at Church)

2008-11-19T20:06:00.000-08:00

2008-11-18T17:57:00.000-08:00

SUNSET VARIATIONS

2008-11-12T17:36:00.000-08:00

5-0!

2008-11-10T21:22:00.001-08:00

Home teams go 5-0 on trip.

2008-11-10T17:30:00.001-08:00

2008-11-10T16:30:00.000-08:00

2008-11-10T16:27:00.001-08:00

Go cardinals!

2008-11-09T16:54:00.001-08:00

Phoenix coyotes

2008-11-08T10:58:00.000-08:00

Me & 45000 saints

2008-11-07T17:47:00.000-08:00

Utah jazz

2008-11-07T09:01:00.000-08:00

Utes win

2008-11-06T18:43:00.000-08:00

Go utes!

circa 1988

2008-11-02T04:37:00.000-08:00

from my "files"

YES OR NO ON PROP 8!

2008-10-29T13:06:00.000-07:00

I was curious how long it would take for the Prop 8 patrol to find my blog and post a comment arguing for Proposition 8.
The answer? 1 hour and 1 minute. Impressive.

2008-10-25T16:58:00.000-07:00

2008-10-23T16:08:00.000-07:00

BRING THE PAIN

2008-10-22T13:58:00.000-07:00

Watch the whole thing.

thanks Timmmii

920 is the new 420

2008-10-22T09:49:00.000-07:00

I struck out on my commute and tried a rapid bus line (the 920). It requires a little more walking, but the difference is 1 stop as opposed to 20+. I think I can handle the extra walk time. This is the worst blog post ever. Enjoy this doodle to make up for this snooze-fest.

KHAAAAAN!

2008-10-20T12:11:00.001-07:00

VOTE OR DIE

2008-10-17T10:10:00.000-07:00

God I hate "OR DIE" added onto anything. It means nothing. I'm cool with LIVE FREE OR DIE. Its classic, but VOTE OR DIE is both stupid and melodramatic. SKATE OR DIE is another. It makes me think i'll be forced to ride a skateboard like pirates made people walk the plank. That's a lot of pressure, surely i won't give my best effort.
FUNNY OR DIE? Really? What does that mean? From what i've seen its mostly OR DIE anyway.
I'm sure there are more, but my blood is boiling. Better CALM DOWN OR DIE.

2008-10-16T12:17:00.001-07:00

2008-10-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

2008-10-11T14:16:00.000-07:00

2008-10-09T17:44:00.000-07:00

car of the year, mojave ca.

2008-10-09T11:54:00.000-07:00

The final stasche in the stasche trilogy. Who is this guy? He's dead. Who cares.

2008-10-08T10:46:00.000-07:00

clik.download.print.pray.

2008-10-07T21:07:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what this is all about. I hope it passes soon. Until then, enjoy the mustaches...

2008-10-07T18:32:00.000-07:00

Lots of people have been asking me to do an illustration of their favorite straight-talking mustachioed crusader.

MBV X2

2008-10-04T17:08:00.000-07:00

(click to enlarge)

SOME THOUGHTS:
• The 20-minute sound tsunami reminded me of the Beyond The Infinite: Part One sequence from 2001: A Space Odyssey. Like an alternate soundtrack.
• As a younger man I didn't realize you can actually hear the music better with earplugs.
• Many, many people have no idea how to wear earplugs. Just lightly placing them in your ear does almost no good.
• The Santa Monica Civic Auditorium is a mickey-mouse operation.
• The Santa Monica Police, however, are pretty cool.
• L.A. Times story

2008-10-01T16:19:00.000-07:00

fossil falls, ca.

2008-09-30T17:36:00.000-07:00

fossil falls, ca.

MISSED

2008-09-29T12:41:00.000-07:00

Shit. When I return home and visit my friends at the Enquirer it will be without these fantastic, great people. The buyouts and situation in Cincinnati made me sick from thousands of miles away.
312 won't be the same with them. Hopefully their post-enquirer lives kick ass and they laugh about it all.
And if you are still at the Enquirer and Betty comes to visit...Let her in because she let me in the door about 500 times when i forgot my card.
Best wishes to you all.

TICKET PORN

2008-09-27T06:42:00.000-07:00

This fall I became a L.A. Kings Hockey season ticket holder. Pretty exciting stuff. I've always liked the NHL and its been something i've wanted to do If I ever lived in an NHL city. About a week ago the team mailed the tickets out. Wow. they came in a spiral bound book. Here are some shots. I give the Kings an A+ for presentation. Hopefully they won't be terrible ( Its a pretty good bet they will be terrible). My seat, btw, is literally the last row of the arena. One bonus...no one can sit behind me.

I'VE GOT TO BE UNSTOPPABLE

2008-09-26T23:37:00.000-07:00

This album by Santogold is really good. Lights Out is the big single, but there are other real gems here. Starstruck, Unstoppable, My Superman. Good catchy pop.

ARC LIGHT

2008-09-24T18:02:00.000-07:00

inspired by this book i'm reading.

2008-09-24T15:22:00.000-07:00

2008-09-20T22:37:00.000-07:00

IS THIS REALLY NEEDED?

2008-09-19T10:37:00.000-07:00

Must i really show my bruised foot to literally tens of people? I think the answer is yes. The world needs to know so they won't walk off of 2-foot step you don't know about. Ouch. To my credit...I didn't fall and i didn't spill my beer. A semi-horrified onlooker was rightly impressed.

2008-09-17T23:31:00.000-07:00

MY FRIENDS

2008-09-17T08:04:00.000-07:00

I SOUND LIKE ALF'S DAD

2008-09-03T12:59:00.000-07:00

LISTEN UP PARROTHEADS

2008-08-30T15:40:00.000-07:00

Put down those cheeseburgers. I have a secret. I'm Jimmy Buffet.

WHICH DO YOU PREFER?

2008-08-29T16:05:00.000-07:00

• BEING EATEN BY A SHARK
• LISTENING TO THE NEW YORK DOLLS

I WONDER

2008-08-29T09:05:00.001-07:00

I wonder if John McCain met Sarah Palin at a cocktail party and chased her around the room until she agreed to be his running mate...like he did with his ~~bank account~~ wife Cindy.

I'M A GHOST!

2008-08-28T10:25:00.000-07:00

At least 3 times a week a co-worker shrieks in terror when I walk by. Apparently i am a quiet walker and they don't hear me coming. That's what they tell me anyway...

I THOUGHT I WAS DARK

2008-08-27T15:44:00.000-07:00

This guy has me beat.

http://www.rob-sheridan.com/sketchblog/

BIRDS NEST

2008-08-27T13:31:00.000-07:00

TOMB

2008-08-27T13:29:00.000-07:00

MEET YOUR NEW OVERLORD

2008-08-26T11:09:00.000-07:00

I love when laptops hold press conferences.

MASCOTS

2008-08-22T23:30:00.000-07:00

JAMAICAN SUPERMAN

2008-08-21T19:12:00.001-07:00

• Usain Bolt Got it DONE. You already know this. He's fast. Its been a nightmare two weeks for Asafa Powell and Tyson Gay. All of a sudden, you look irrelevant and worse of all...slow.

• Anyone see the Bahrain runner in the women's 200? Wearing a full-body modesty suit? Could be the perfect illustration of past meets future.

• Just saw the Women's Water Polo team lose the gold to the Dutch. We really needed that Gold, ladies. You've failed us for the final time. Release the sharks.

• Oh, I could look it up, but what are all these events the Chinese are winning Gold in? Holy smokes. Here it is. We can catch them if somehow every member of the men's basketball team has their gold medal counted.

• Speaking of letting all of America down. Softball team...that will haunt you until the end of time.

• Our Nancy Grace diving announcer sounds like she's just as sick of diving as I am.

• Gymnastics ends and you breathe a sigh of relief. Finally, its over. But wait!... A FUCKING GALA EVENT!! Figure skating does the same thing.

• Not very nice Miss Amanda Beard. Not nice at all.

• Misty May...tossing your mother's ashes willy-nilly all over the place is kinda weird.

CUBE

2008-08-21T18:27:00.000-07:00

MY FAVORITE

2008-08-21T11:40:00.001-07:00

Hands down my all-time favorite Sesame Street bit. I laughed so hard it hurt.

POLO

2008-08-20T13:26:00.000-07:00

COULDN'T DO IT

2008-08-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

I don't think I could suit up for another country just to compete in the Olympics. Every Olympiad there are stories of athletes with tenuous ties to another country who play for the other side. I'm not talking naturalized citizens..i'm talking about the guy who's grandmother came from Germany and he's now wearing the colors of Deutschland...no matter that he can't understand a thing his teammates are saying.
Believe me, the dream of the Olympics would be tempting. I just don't think I could feel right about it.
I'll let you know if this dilemma comes up.

GOLDEN TOUCH

2008-08-18T20:52:00.000-07:00

• Gotta feel for Liu Xiang. Gotta feel for the Chinese fans. What a disappointment for everyone.

• Who might be the worst judge of talent in the world? Usain Bolt's coach. The idea Bolt had to beg him to let him start running the 100 is insane....speaking of insane...

• Usain Bolt's performance in the 100. When watching live I was a little disappointed he didn't break the world record...He let up with 20-30 meters to go...dominant win, but no world record. HOLY SHIT HE DID set the world record. Amazing.

• He may have let up for the $$. Big-time meets in Europe pay bonuses for world records set. Watch for Bolt to lower his WR in a few weeks/months.

• For American announcers to call an athlete out for showboating is pretty funny. We invented that monster. Preaching to a kid from Jamaica (Jamaica!) about behaving themselves in victory is hypocritical.

• NBC turn the volume down on the damned commercials.

• Jeremy Wariner. Keep your glasses on. You look weird.

• Hurdlers do a lot of pre-race visualization. That's why they look crazy and talk to themselves.

• Will the diving never end?

• I know its PC to not care about the medal count, but I care about the medal count. I like for my team to win.

• I love the Fosbury Flop. I love the Hammer Throw. Trampoline makes me dizzy and Dressage makes me drowsy.

• American shot-putter Adam Nelson came to Beijing and fouled on all three throws. Maybe your technique is a little over complicated.

I now feel like Larry King. Time to go.

STOP THE HATE

2008-08-18T13:13:00.000-07:00

Yeah, yeah. You hipsters LOVE to make fun of Applebees, but who else would stay open late if you and your demoralized (and hungry) football team rolled in to the parking lot 2 minutes to closing time? And who else would set up a nice plaque for a retiring local coach when he's feeling marginalized and blue? Your neighborhood grill and bar. That's who.

2008-08-18T12:50:00.001-07:00

2008-08-17T13:04:00.000-07:00

AUGUST E-MUSIC

2008-08-16T15:14:00.000-07:00

KOMPAKT•TOTAL 2
BORIS•AKUMA NO UTA
TIEFSCWARTZ•10 YEARS OF
STS9•PEACEBLASTER
SIAN ALICE GROUP• THE DUSK LINE
THE BREEDERS•MOUNTAIN BATTLES
RATATAT•LP3
MANGO•SASCHA FUNKE
FLY PAN AM•SEDATIFS EN FREQUENCES ET SILLONS
FLY PAN AM•FLY PAN AM

I must have Olympic fever. We have... 3 German techno/house acts, Japanese doom-rockers, a California-Georgia electronic collective, good-ole gals from Dayton, hipster boys from New York, vocal centered indie pop from London and experimental rock from Quebec.

i'm still listening. Its all pretty good. If any of the bands want to send some cash my way i'll consider naming them my ALBUM OF THE MONTH...pony up.

and I didn't know STS9 was Sound Tribe Sector 9 – I normally avoid the word "tribe"... it reminds me of drum circles....yuck.

OLYMPICS FOR THE CRANKY

2008-08-16T13:24:00.000-07:00

I'm actually not cranky about the Olympics, but I do have some curmudgeon-like observations about these, the games of the 29th Olympiad.

• The woman announcing the diving events sounds JUST LIKE Nancy Grace. I expect any second for her to say, " That Dive was horrendous. They should be locked up forever and have the key thrown away."- because Nancy Grace is kind of hardcore.

• The shower shots during diving are ~~kind of~~ totally pervy. I know its not really a shower, but its got that American Apparel vibe and that vibe is pervy.

• Diving is fun to watch, but kind of a bullshit competition. Everybody claps the same way if the dive was good or bad..which someone has to tell me if it was good or bad.

• Synchronized anything is kind of bullshit.

• Let's put some kind of limit on high-fives and hugs. Not EVERY play (good or bad) needs an ass-slap. I'm looking right at you Volleyball. I watched one game where the players literally hugged after EVERY play. Isn't that tiring?

• Technology is cool, but it can make you look like an ass. There's a silly trend of sprinters wearing some arm sleeves to help with aerodynamics/muscle control. What it really helps with is being able to identify idiots. There's no way on earth these things help. None at all. in 2000 Cathy Freeman wore some kind of weird hooded green track suit. It looked stupid (you can see it on the opening highlights montage)

• Bela Karolyi is 100% awesome. I love him. If I paid him $100 do you think he's give me a bear-hug and words of encouragement. More Bela.

• Too many whistles in Water Polo. Too many. Also, the players should shoot more.

• The only thing i like about watching rowing is knowing i'm watching and not actually rowing. I think my heart would explode after the first 100 meters. Those guys are amazing.

• Bitching about the lip-synching little girl in the opening ceremonies is truly a mountain out of a molehill. Give it up. Its not a big deal. Its a show... a production.

• Bitching about 12-14 year old Chinese gymnasts is not silly. I'd say gymnastics are the shadiest Olympic event. It combines bad judging, child abuse and politics. It is amazing though.

• Michael Phelps is the greatest, but he is a Baltimore Ravens fan. Sadly, this automatically makes him an a-hole.

2008-08-16T13:01:00.000-07:00

2008-08-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

2008-08-15T12:03:00.000-07:00

2008-08-14T20:51:00.000-07:00

LOOK AT THIS CUTE GUY!

2008-08-13T17:50:00.000-07:00

Two of my favorite people had a baby. Amy and Charlie welcomed their son Graham into the world last week. We're pretty excited about this fella. Good people having kids is always a good thing.
I'm lobbying for this Cincinnati -born young-un to avoid the inevitable messy Cleveland Browns/Indianapolis Colts drama by becoming a Bengal fan. My guess is he'll have more sense than that.

2008-08-07T20:51:00.000-07:00

HAVING TROUBLE WITH THIS ONE

2008-07-30T08:44:00.000-07:00

I REALLY want this Chili's gift card, but i can't decide who this is. Wouldn't it make sense to make these contests as easy as possible so people will click on them? Isn't that the point?

Ok. THAT was my first earthquake

2008-07-29T12:41:00.000-07:00

Wow. Normally i expect that every little shake on our floor (7 of 19) is the start of an earthquake, but Its always just been someone upstairs moving something or the wind. Not this time. When it didn't stop ...and KEPT GOING. I knew what it was. Some people took off down the stairwell. I went to look out the window. Turns out that's the worst thing you can do. Oh well. Hard to describe the feeling, but it kinda gives you a little vertigo and gives you a lot of nervous energy...when you realize what just happened. Its terrifying to think what a big one would feel like. The mind boggles.

BEHOLD THE MAJESTY OF NASCAR!

2008-07-24T22:36:00.000-07:00

Thom-as-Kin-Kade!
Pain-ter-of-light!
Trading Eagles and sunsets for jets and explosions.

TERRIBLE

2008-07-24T08:59:00.000-07:00

NOTHING SAYS COOL LIKE DRINKING AND SKELETONS. BARF.
Someday, when I do a list of bands I hate i'll be sure to include Social Distortion. Is it because every song sounds alike? Not exactly...its because every song sounds exactly like shit. Add some painfully observant lyrics like "As I walk these streets alone..." combined with a lame pool-hall mystique and you've got Social D! We look like greasers and we hang out in pool halls all day! Great. Pool halls are for losers.

2008-07-22T17:53:00.000-07:00

CAUGHT!

2008-07-21T14:51:00.000-07:00

The Bastard
Srebrenica Massacre
Yugoslav Wars 1991-1999
Ratko Mladic

CAUTION: HUGE JET OVERHEAD

2008-07-18T11:33:00.000-07:00

About the AIRPORT

MOVE THAT TOOL!

2008-07-18T09:51:00.000-07:00

"More than 2,500 people - some who waited overnight - cheered at the Akers family home on Manor Drive at noon Thursday."

Really? 2,500? Overnight?
I'm all for attending silly events, but this blows my mind. I'm trying not to judge too hard, but good people of West Chester....might be time to re-asses your love of reality TV.